I'm not entirely sure how a pigeon tamer makes a living but it seems like it would be fairly easy to get by. You wouldn't have to worry about water because in all likelihood you would already be living in a park with a lake or fountain where pigeons would commonly congregate. Food wise you would be set up pretty well too because you could just eat one or two of your pigeons. It seems to me the only real problem would be health insurance. Maybe it would be possible to form a symbiotic relationship with another pseudo-homeless person. You could give them the feathers from some of your pigeons to make a nice outfit that they can go to job interviews in. Maybe they could get hired at starbucks or enterprise rent-a-car. These places have great benefits and may offer an insurance plan that would allow for more than one person to be covered. This may require you to marry said pseudo-homeless person, but you could easily catch a lizard or snake in the park and use the hungry reptilian method i described in my last post to find the right one.
Living in the park seems like it could be rough, especially in the winter, but I would guess the added body heat from all of those pigeons would be enough to keep you warm at night. At any rate, life as a pigeon tamer would require a lot of sacrifices. But they're sacrifices I'm willing to make... And can you blame me?
I would encourage the two people that will ever see this to seriously consider a bird-centered lifestyle. Plus... It's all tax free!
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